The thought that the world is challenging in this moment is definitely an understatement. I am going to be polite about this. These past years have been odd. For most of us, it definitely takes courage to approach each day with gratitude and grace. As always we have a choice. We can resist it or we can embrace it, and by embracing it I mean taking responsibility by figuring out what matters most to you and deciding to redefine your life accordingly.
A changing world
When the world changed in March of 2020, few of us could have predicted that over 3 years later we would still be in the middle of a colassal mess.
Sure, on most days we rush through the ordinary not thinking much about what the world went through (who has time right?), but when we give ourselves a moment to stand still, we can still feel the aftermath of it all very much here.
We can try to ignore it, but there is lots of movement taking place around us. Lots of things that are difficult to watch, undersand and accept. The world is changing. And not only.
Relationships are changing. Systems are changing. Life as we knew it has already changed.
When a changing world pushes you to redefine your life
So change… I am not here to discuss whether change is good or bad because at this point most of us could probably agree that there is always a little of both.
There is the fear and excitement of letting go, the fear and excitement of what will be. Much of the time, we are practicing ourselves away from fear and doubt, and towards hope, dreams, staying inspired and all that jazz. (Aka, showing up one day at a time.)
However, one thing seems certain. When we are forced into a global shift this big, it is difficult to prevent what is moving around us not to move something just as big within us. Actually it is necessary.
Redefining ourselves becomes our only choice for survival. More accurately, you either redefine your life or something else will redefine it for you.
Here come the questions
Maybe it begins with subtle questions about what we like or dislike about what we see, hear and feel. Maybe we notice how listening gradually becomes more of a full body experience.
How is this affecting world stability quickly turns into how is this affecting the stability of my job, my health, my family? How is this affecting me?
(My answer: Things feel shaky, don’t they?)
Then the real questions start to flow.
What is my purpose? What meaning does it all have? Am I satisfied? How can I make my days more fulfilling?
Is it time to redefine my life?
Redefine your life: take responsibilty, take control
There are so many things that are out of our control nowadays. We have literally placed our livelihood into the hands of this high-tech world.
We are dependent on a long list of comforts that often don’t even feel so comfortable. Think about it. Everything costs us our most valuable assets: our well-being and our time.
Something breaks. Call a guy to fix it. Can’t figure out your bank statement, start an online chat. Have a problem with your phone and internet service (which is also connected to your tube), press a zillion buttons hoping to get a voice that isn’t metallic and automated before going completely insane. They ran out of it at the the local store? We don’t consider doing without. It has become automatic. Taking control is another order on Amazon.
Money, time, money, time.
They want to convince us that someone can fix us. Doctors, pills, therapists, coaches, spiritual gurus. There is an online course for just about everything.
However, do you really believe that even the best tutorial can fix what is shaky and broken inside of you?
Protecting joy. It is an inside job. You cannot simply Google it. It isn’t enough to adjust a few things. You definitely cannot skip it. There are phases in every life when you gotta redefine your life.
And this darling friend is something you can work on. Yes! When your heart starts talking to you and saying something like:
Things do not feel good. Actually, many things are not right. It’s time to understand what matters most to me right now.
Listen. Full body. Full being. The questions, thoughts and feelings are begging for your attention.
This is the moment you know that it is time to take responsibility, take control, and redefine your life beginning with yourself.
TAKE ACTION. See the posts: 4 Easy Tips to Spring Clean Your Life ALL YEAR and How to Reset You Mind and Love Yourself.
Listening is essential
Listening is not merely hearing the words being said or the thoughts being thought. It means understanding how to receive an authentic meaning from what is being expressed by a person or experience.
When applied to ourselves, it means placing meaning to our physical and emotional sensations.
HONESTY.
We must open ourselves up to honesty in order to separate the fear and all those years (decades) of conditioning from the golden truth that lies deep inside.
Listening is a lost skill in this noisy, chaotic world. Everyone wants to be heard because hardly anyone ever listens. No time. Not pretty. Too hard.
So we talk more. We interrupt constantly, distract ourselves, move incessantly and have this insatiable need to demonstrate our worth. We become the chaos.
Well, without listening there is no learning, supporting, connecting, growing or redefining.
It is simply impossibile to evolve in our relationships wihout knowing how to listen.
It is impossible to better ourselves or redefine our life if we don’t relearn how to truly listen.
You need to listen from within. There is no alternative. Stillness. Silence. Curiosity. Honesty. Questioning. Finding meaning. Repeating.
PRACTICE.
Be patient with yourself when you find your mind going everywhere else other than listening to what is being communicated.
Full body listening is a form of meditation, and as any other meditation, we practice calling our mind back with kindness and compassion to the present moment, the present words and the present message being expressed.
Full-body listening is the practice of noticing, feeling and hearing…. interpreting the signs through every type of sensation.
7 signs that it is time to redefine your life
1, Feelings of fear and uncertainty: You find yourself obsessing over the future. You fear the unknown to the point that it freezes you and you are either unable to find joy in the present moment and/or are unable to make decisions about the direction of your life.
2. Stress and overwhelm has become your go-to mode: Life can be stressful at times and moments of stress can even help you grow stronger, more resilient and less reactive. When we learn to respond effectively to stress, we feel prepared to deal with the inevitable curve balls of life.
However, when you find yourself feeling stressed and overwhelmed over even the smaller stuff, it is a clear sign that something is incredibly wrong. This often leads to physical and mental illness.
No body or mind is resilient enough to sustain uniterrupted tension. Chronic stress should never be ignored.
3. You are unable to dream: As a responsible adult you have the responsibility to be present for the people in your life – economically and emotionally support your family, maintain the material things like your home and car, find solutions to problems and make important every day decisions.
It can definitely be a lot. Too much. There is always something to do, someone to care for, things to fix, stuff to keep clean, bills to pay, relationships to cultivate, kids to chaperone, the dog to walk.
But, what happens to your dreams when this happens… when your life transforms into one responsibility after another?
Dreaming is essential for a fulfilled life.
4. Relationships are changing: As all things in life, relationships are going to change. This is a necessary part of personal growth.
When you notice that you no longer feel connected to the people in your life, the people you work with or the environments you find yourself in, it is a sign that you are changing and that these people and spaces are no longer serving you. Even worse, you are probably giving them permission to shove you down, back and inside their small spaces.
Healthy relationships and the environments we interact in should make us feel nurtured, safe, connected and whole.
5. Feeling stuck or encaged: When your life feels more like a cage than a wide open sky and everything feels like it is closing in on you (maybe you literally have trouble breathing), it is a huge sign that you are ready to redefine your life. We are meant to evolve.
When there is one or more aspect of your life that feels stagnant and joyless, ask yourself what you really want. What will make you feel alive instead of giving you that soffocating sensation of living inside a tiny box?
6. What matters most changes: Often the box we live in gets smaller and smaller because our priorities change. What matters most now is completely different from what mattered to you a year ago or 5 years ago or 20 years ago when you had all those huge plans and everything mapped out.
Maps only work on structured roads with names attached to them. The roads of life are both structureless and nameless.
When you think you have everything figured out, be(a)ware – life does not go to plan. As you go deeper into self-exploration you find yourself distancing further from the conditioned mind that has controlled you thus far and you start thinking from the heart space.
The heart knows you profoundly and when you listen to it you discover that you are no longer living in alignment with your values and beliefs. They have changed. It is time to redefine what matters most and redefine your life.
7. Less from the mind, more from the heart: You are diving deeper and deeper into your feeling state of being. This is the space where your intuition rules. It is telling you that your mind is not to be trusted when it holds you back from becoming who you are meant to be.
Your mind has been manipulated since you were born. It tells you stories about who you are and what you need. Your mind doesn’t need more information or opinions. It needs to connect with your heart. When these two dimensions unite you learn to trust yourself and your intuition paves the way for you to find the best version of yourself and redefine your life.
You know when you know
I knew that I needed to redefine myself and my life once again when I noticed my smile fading to hardly ever, when I had no desire to get out of bed in the morning and no real reason either, when I realized how many hours a day I spent binging on Netflix.
I don’t have a depressive personality, but I was definitely in a trance. It was as if life was frozen.
It wasn’t the first time and it certainly won’t be the last.
A full experience of our journey on Earth requires us to redefine ourselves many times over throughout the course of a lifetime. And, it usually happens just when you were getting comfortable.
We can always rely on our need for growth to knock the remote out of our hands and shove us off the couch.
I tried to convince myself that I was being productive by preparing elaborate meals for my family on the small burners of my camper stove top. It wasn’t enough to make me feel as if I was doing enough as a mom, a wife or human being. I was no longer the woman I wanted my daughters to see. This hurt and this was my greatest source of inspiration.
I could no longer wait for something on the outside to change. I knew that it wasn’t coming and anyhow, this was never the answer. The only way out is always in. I had already been asking myself the questions for some time. As it is for most of us, I was ready without being ready. To read a bit more also see, Using Confusion in Life as the Best Kick-In-The-Butt for Personal Growth.
Upturn everything and do it with courage
The time has come to start looking at your life upside down in order to see things right. Are you seeing things the way you did yesterday? Perhaps this is the moment to look under, over, behind and beyond. Are you doing everything just as you have always done? Perhaps this is the moment to change… your truths, your habits, your life.
What was, wasn’t always, what is isn’t always what it appears to be and what will be, nobody knows. Sometimes the only thing we can control is how we respond to what happens. One beat at a time. One breath at a time. One belief at a time. It takes courage to turn it all around, but it takes more courage to sit and passively wait.
You are not alone. Most of us are experiencing the same combination of emotions. We are all going to come to a point in our life when we begin questioning… when we re-question.
Dealing with these moments of life takes courage and an open heart. The heart – It is the root of where everything starts and where it all ends.
Either life entails courage, or it ceases to be life. – E.M. Foster
The time to redefine your life is now
The first step is always the hardest, and when it comes to change, this involves raw soul searching. You are going to have to observe yourself and your existence through a magnifying glass.
Stretch marks, cracks, wrinkles, shades of gray. It is all gonna have to be exposed. It will get messy, but you got what it takes to do it. WE ALL DO. It starts with deciding to get honest with yourself.
You may believe that there is another way, however any other alternative equals you sitting here, crossing your arms, and waiting for someone else to fix what feels broken.
Impossible. You will be waiting forever. Remember this: People cannot fix you or your life.
—— 🙌 ——
Begin with The Signs and then add these (Bonus) questions.
(Tip: Get a notebook and try journaling your answers.)
- How are you really doing? Physically, mentally and emotionally. Does something feel not right?
- Have you outgrown a situation, a title, a label, a person or group of people?
- Have you been distracted? Are you making more mistakes? It is ok. No judging here. Just observation.
- Is how you are living still in sync with your values, beliefs and goals?
- Did you expect your life or an aspect of your life to be different?
- Do you instinctively feel as if you need to change your route?
“The greatest act of self-love is to no longer accept a life you are unhappy with.”
― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
You have one, continuously changing life. You can either embrace this reality and decide to redefine yourself as many times as it takes to maintain a life that feels authentically yours, or you can ignore or resist it. Know that this too is a decision. It is a decision to be a passive, unsatisfied visitor of your own life.
It is time for a new project. This project is you, the you only you know you are meant to begin today to become.
REFIND yourself, REDEFINE your life. TRUST THE PROCESS.
I will be here with you along the way. So drop a comment or question below and connect with me. And if you haven’t already done so, SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss future posts. WE ARE GOING TO GET SPECIFIC.
Once again, if this post was helpful, you may also love, 4 Easy Tips to Successfully Spring Clean Your Life and How to Reset Your Mind and Love Yourself – 7 Detox Secrets for the Best You
Disclosure
This post contains affiliate marketing. This means that when you purchase a product through the link provided, I will receive a small commission with no extra cost to you. This is a small way that you can thank me for my writing. I really appreciate your support. If you want to purchase the book, The Mountain is You: Transforming Self-Sabatoge into Self-Mastery click on the title.
