Our culture is a paradox. (No new news here, right?) We spend hours a day lost on social media where we follow carefully chosen parts of lives, and yet… Let’s avoid talking too much about ourselves or our accomplishments. We wouldn’t want to make people feel bad about themselves or think that we are bragging, would we? Keep your problems to yourself too. People already have their own stuff. Be nice. Make it generic. Only positive vibes folks. Consequentially, in our real lives, we avoid disturbing each other with our real stories. Experts, doctors, specialists, coaches, pills, all kinds of dependencies and distractions, and the never-ending search for more and more information have become the go-to in an attempt to solve our issues. All of the above replacing what we actually need – deep connection and emotions.
But darling friend, there is a way back.
What disconnects us
Everything in this complicated, fast-paced, super competitive, social media age pulls us further from the sense of deep connection that we desperately need.
Most of us are so darn tied up by the overwhelm of our own lives, our families, our schedules, and our problems. We have little energy or time left for the type of honesty, intimacy and attention deep connection requires.
Our intentions are good. Most of us are sincerely doing our very best.
We may even believe that our kindness is enough to maintain a sense of connection, but it is difficult to truly connect when we are always rushing around, multi-tasking, looking for quick fixes, and doing just about everything with our faces facing down towards our screens.
We are not ok
Anxiety, depression and lonliness are at a record high even though our feeds are overflooded with memes and messages about the importance of self-love, kindness and the value of community.
We understand the human need for deep connection in our lives and in the world, but we have no idea how to recreate it. As a result, we are constantly connected to our devices, drowning in our accessibility to information, and more disconnected than ever. Ironic, huh?
Deep connection is not science-based
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU! This is what the expert bloggers say about writing blog posts. Apparently, people want information that is clear, concise and effective, and they want it to be about them.
Unfortunately, most us don’t have time to read books or long posts, interpret a story, get emotionally involved, and then figure out how to apply it to our lives.
As a mother feeding her child, we like to feel as if information is prepared just for us. Even better if served on a silver platter in bite-sized pieces with the excess fat already trimmed off.
As a result, a writer cannot simply write anymore. There is a precise science behind every blog post you read. SEO, keyphrases, transition words, sentence length, positivity factor, reading time. Who knew!
In the end, writers are forced to hand-feed efficiently presented lists and how-tos instead of information that aims to make someone feel something. Even more efficacious when written by Artificial Intelligence.
The trend: AI over EI (Emotional Intelligence) The alternative is the risk of not being read at all.
The goal of information
All of this made me wonder. What place does our personal experience have anymore in arriving at the ultimate goal of being a writer or simply being human? Which is more important nowadays, more easy-to-digest information or deep connection?
As a blogger, my first thought: Not me, my personal-experience-built knowledge and my life? This is what writers do. There is no science to what pours out of our heart and soul.
The truth is that most of us write to fulfill a need to connect. We do not want to feel lonely. Sound familiar?
The information we share is 200 percent emotion-packed and it is the most important information we have to offer.
Connection is created with whomever is on the other side of the final draft because we keep it personal and real.
Is this type of information outdated?
Here’s the thing: Shared experience is the best way to grow personally and together. Despite popular expert opinion.
As author Brené Brown writes in her amazing book Rising Strong, “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses…
we need a critical mass of badasses who are willing to dare, fall, feel their way through tough emotions, and rise again.”
Humanity needs people willing to share experiences and authentically show all parts of themselves so that we can truly support one another.
This does not only apply to writers, but to all types of people and all the rawness human life offers.
Honest – tell it like it is – badasses change the world. And shared emotions inspire us to move towards our highest selves. Aseptically delivered tutorials and AI created content will never be able to replace this.
The best way to create deep connection
With everything we have been through in the past years, we all need more authenticity and deep connection. Fact, not opinion (I dare to say). The only real question is: What is the best way to create this?
When we read words that shift us from the insides, we feel deeply connected not only to the creator behind the expression, but often with the entire Universe. Do you agree?
Deeply experienced/emotion driven forms of expression have the power to connect us and make us feel more in peace with ourselves and the world.
Our shared experiences provide valuable information that is not simply received by the mind, but deeply felt within the heart. This is the type of information that stimulates both transformation and deep connection.
For example, if I want to share my living practice with you, the practice that I have developed and personally tested, and that has brought enhanced fulfillment and meaning in my own life, I need to write from a place of passion – directly from the heart. Lists of cold, hard statistics, facts or science-based information will never nourish us.
We need stories, not more studies. (EI not AI)🙌
The information we consume
The reality is that not all information is created equally. There is information that inspires us to feel, expand and grow, there is information that is completely lacking in depth and emotion and there is information that feeds our fear. The first makes us feel connected. The second doesn’t make us feel anything and when we feed ourselves too much of nothing we feel anxious and disconnected. The third adds an instant dose of terror to our disconnected state of being.
As a consequence, the type of information we consume and the source of our information matters. We need to question what type of information we are feeding ourselves with on a daily basis because this influences both our wellbeing and the type of world we are contributing to.
The good news is that we get to choose.
Deep connection means all stories belong
So I am back to the question: How important is the sharing of my personal experience in providing you what you actually need instead of what you may think you need? Because often they are not the same.
And, how important is your story to me and the world?
My life, like your life, is just a life. A speck on this 3rd rock from the sun. What difference could sharing our experiences realistically make?
Afterall, writing about my personal journey is not likely to influence the start of something huge. Perhaps if I was writing to cure cancer, end world hunger or achieve world peace it would be different.
Information tells us that we can rely on science and technology to eventually solve everything, right?
And yet, EVERY STORY MATTERS – my story, your story, the story of the best writers, the smartest mathematicians, and the most influential person alive… the story of the cashier, the bus boy, the bus driver, the blue collar worker, the criminal and the victim, and your neighbor Joe who drives you crazy with his unkept lawn – EQUALLY.
By understanding this, we become part of the solution to creating the deep connection this world is not so silently crying out for.
The powerful information of our stories
By sharing our experiences we inspire people to own up to their own feelings, we create a sense of belonging in ourselves and an “I am not alone” sensation in others.
All these things are positive effects of us sharing our personal stories and of us being inspired by somebody else’s.
Most importantly, when we share this type of information with the intention of creating an increased sense of connection, and another person is receivng it with this same exact intention, we create a powerful support system.
When a message received brings us to say, me too, we feel inclusive, seen, and connected
I feel that if you can overcome difficulty, I can too and we, without having to ever physically meet, become an essential part of each other’s journey.
Deep connection is something big
This circles me back to the idea that just maybe each story shared and received can play an important part in the creation of something bigger because emotions are like superpowers.
Our stories are fiercely potent when shared. Personal stories, like us humans, are not meant to live in a bubble of isolation.
My journey is your journey and your journey is mine. This leads to important growth and deep connection. And, this is something truly big.
Now be(a)ware
Lists, reviews, how-tos, and other fact based information can be useful to our journey, but it is not the heart of the journey. What nourishes us must come from information that makes us feel something.
So be(a)ware of the information you consume and that is consuming you.
When the enemy becomes invisible it becomes the most dangerous. Protect yourself.
In today’s world, with our smartphones attached to some body part or within arm’s reach all the time, we need to protect ourselves from the information coming at us 24/7. It has become so much a part of our lifestyle that we do not even notice it anymore. It is a true, modern weapon and pretty dangerous stuff.
Don’t believe them when they tell you that you should be filling your mind with as much information as possible.
More is not better. It leads to a cloudy and conditioned mind.
And this is exactly what has gotten us to a chronic state of disconnection, confusion and lonliness. And this is also why it is so important for us to return to a more heartfelt approach to information.
Instead, we need information that connects us to another person – even a stranger, sometimes especially a stranger.
So protect yourself. Make sure you are choosing your information. Information should always feel supportive, supportive of both you and the life you are continuously creating.
This is how we maintain a sense of deep connection in a world that has become over-informed and completely disconnected from what what we need to feel happy and whole.
Moving towards greatness
So back to us. I will be speaking about myself here. Shared experience will be a big part of this space. This includes your stories as well. This is the beginning of a journey of mutual support and encouragement.
Today’s biggest message: Give & receive information. Find courage to share. Encourage others to share. This is WHAT CONNECTS US. THIS IS our strength.
And before you go any further, get to know me. Click here: MEET DANNI. Then CONNECT WITH ME, tell me about yourself, and INVITE OTHERS.
Because as Mother Tereasa said, “I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.“
Heck, maybe even create world peace!
That is if Google doesn’t punish me with my primitive knowledge of SEO and keywords and my refusal to give up my EI for AI and you don’t think that this blog post is way too long. 😉
If you enjoyed this post, you will also love PERSONAL GROWTH READING + 6 of the Best Books to Inspire You to Love Better, Feel More and Live Fully.
Final Disclosure
This post contains affiliate marketing. This means that when you purchase a product through the link provided, I will receive a small commission with no extra cost to you. This is a small way that you can thank me for my writing. I really appreciate your support. If you want to purchase the book Rising Strong by Brené Brown, click on the title.
You are going to love it!
