This post is not going to solve all of your problems. None of my posts can do this. But today I am sharing with you another piece of my life. This piece is my guided meditation practice – one of my daily rituals to feel calmer, protect joy. and grow closer to mindful. Not a life fixer, but definitely a soul soother.
So, I don’t have all the answers.
Some days it honestly feels like I am back at the drawing board, with absolutely no conclusion and quadruple the questions, beginning with: Where do I fit in in all of this? – this referring to my roles – mom, wife, daughter – all my roles. And LIFE.
And while I do know some stuff really well, I am not a guru or an expert of anything. I am full of real life experiences just like you. I doubt myself just like you. I’m growing just like you. I like to think of myself as a student of this bewildering life.
(Maybe you do too and this is why you are reading this.)
And I am here by your side, just another human being striving to figure at least a few of the more fundamental things out as I share my living practice with you. Here we go…
Believing, Learning, Being Soothed
Sounds nice. Soul soother. I think this is what the world can use right now. Soothing souls walking around. With our feet firmly on this heavenly earth.
Our hearts smiling – no laughing – at our former tense-faced, rigid inner and outer body self and the insanity of our life and all of life.
A relaxed, glowing aura about us spreading our vibe. Not because things are suddenly hunky dory, but because as Lao-tzu says, you have learned how to let yourself be lived by it.
All of it.
Like you can finally say, BRING IT ON. It is gonna be ok. And actually believe it. Trust in it.
And this is why I want to share this daily ritual with you. My daily guided meditation practice gets me closer to this soothed soul.
It finds me when I have lost myself to the insane messiness within me and around me. It is just one of the pieces that puts me back together every single day. Even when it isn’t perfect. It is here. And this is enough.
(And I believe that if you meditate with me you may feel the same.)
But first let’s checkin.
How Are You Doing?
Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.
Buddha
How are you doing? Really! Have you checked in with yourself today?
If you are with me for a while now, you know how important this is. It is the number one daily ritual for our well-being. We just got to ask ourself, how am I?
What is going on in my body, heart, and that entangled, beautiful mind of mine?
DON’T SKIP THIS!
So close your eyes with me. Just for a sec. And breathe as you ask yourself HOW AM I?
The answer isn’t as important as how you feel, that you are feeling. After 3 deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth – really sighing that breath out as if you can release all the thoughts, tension, and anxiety along with your perennially locked jaw – open your eyes and RETURN HERE with me.
I REPEAT, DON’T SKIP THIS! Do it for real.
There is so much life in even one fully experienced complete breath. And so many of us miss out on this.
So breathe darling friend, just remember to breathe.
Listen, are you breathing just a litte and calling it a life?
MaRy Olver
Welcome Back! And congratulations. You just meditated.
CLICK HERE TO JUMP TO 28 DAY GUIDED MEDITATION PROGRAM
What I Learned Meditation Isn’t
A meditation practice is not about separating oneself from the real world. It is a way to become more mindful of our fully human selves as we learn to live more fully in the real world.
Meditation. It sounds so intimidating at first.
I remember when I thought that meditation was this complicated feat reserved and achieved only by the greatest luminaries of the world. Buddha, Gandhi, my dear friend Marco who travels to India every year.
I would sit on my cushion devotedly every day for 10-30 minutes and then go around telling people things like, I don’t actually meditate. I just try to sit in silence. Emphasizing the just and the try.
Unconsciously, I was reinforcing the idea that my practice was a waste of time. Despite my daily practice, I wasn’t serious. I was no good at it.
And besides, I had never been to India.
This is because I had this overcomplicated idea in my mind of what meditating actually was and wasn’t. And what it took to arrive in an authentic, serious-meditator, meditative state of being.
I now know that that was how my former self put herself down. Insecurity. Limiting beliefs. Ignorance.
Since then, this is what I have learned.
Meditation Is Not About...
- being good or bad at it. It just is. There is no right or wrong way to meditate.
- asking yourself not to think. The goal of meditation is not to eliminate thoughts or control them, but to stop allowing them to control you. Meditation helps you recognize that you’re more than your chattering mind. Meditation is connecting with yourself by observing the chatter.
- hoping that it gets easier. Sitting with yourself is difficult. When you accept this you ease into your practice because…
- a linear journey. Some days your mind will be like a still lake on a windless day. Other days it will be jumping from one wild thought to the next. Even the most illuminated beings experience monkey mind.
Meditation Does Not…
- require a still or silent space. Noise and movement are part of the practice. Be grateful for your chaotic training grounds. These meditation spaces prepare us for real life which is anything but still or silent.
- necessarily require you to be still. You can meditate while walking, doing chores around the house. I love to listen to a guided meditation while I am getting ready in the morning or preparing dinner. I love to observe my breath while I wash dishes. These are all examples of moving meditation.
- depend on what it looks like, but what it feels like. Whether you sit in silence, repeat mantras, or follow a guided meditation, the goal of a meditation practice is to make you feel something. Turn on your feeling body. This is the practice nobody else can see and whatever gets you to your feeling body, is the right way to meditate for you.
- have to be time comsuming. Even a few breaths in silence can be a powerful meditation. Repeat the exercise we did above several times a day on a daily basis. Miracles may happen.
And The Aim Is Not To Force Anything
You are perfect just the way that you are and there is also room for improvement.
Zen Saying
Meditation is is not about trying to change any part of yourself. It is not about judgment, criticism or blame.
When we sit with our thoughts we discover new things about ourselves. We discover feelings that have been buried.
This is what happens when time is spent regularly with one’s inner being.
It is about allowing, not forcing. Meditation is not about manipulating our feelings.
Sitting is very powerful. It has the ability to change our perspective about what makes us happy or unhappy, angry or loving, fearful or courageous, ungrateful or blessed.
We naturally change into a fuller human being when we just sit.
Also, It Is Not A Free Pass To Awakened
Meditation is not about arriving at a pre-defined, spiritually awakened state of being. So if this was your idea, ditch it.
Most of us will never be able to raise our body from the earth or appear in two places contemporaneously like we may have read about in some book. While this may be illuminating, this is not, and will never be, our goal.
We just want to make it sanely through our day. Feel more stable and less insane. Care for ourselves and our people in a loving and compassionate way.
For me spiritual awakening is a feeling of wholeness, of belonging, of being ok with myself whatever that looks and feels like. It feels like a soothed soul.
Sometimes it will last for a moment. Other times, this sensation of being integral may last an entire day.
Being spiritually awakened starts with accepting that you will fall asleep over and over again. Learning to enjoy the brief, fleeting moments of enlightenment while they last. Lovingly saying, hope to see you soon, when they go.
What Meditation Adds To Our Life
I think that the point of meditation is not what it adds, but that it adds.
Even when it feels like it is not or our practice feels like it is failing us. Even when our mind is not cooperating.
We try to control all the circumstances around us, when we should be focusing on controlling the circustances within us.
Whether we are happy or miserable, angry or compassionate, steady or crazy, all depends on the state of our mind at any given time. Are we controlling our thoughts or are our thoughts controlling us? Are we present enough to choose what we want to focus on?
We sit and it is a constant mind game. Or rather a battle between our conditioned mind and our authentically feeling heart.
This explains why we can feel overwhelmed and still feel grateful one moment, and feel agitated for no reason the next.
This is why your 30 minute morning meditation practice may feel like paradise discovered and a 5 minute evening quickie is hell being raised.
It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
Sally Kempton
And yet, you will never regret taking time to meditate. Actually when you begin a regular meditation practice you will always regret when you don’t.
You always leave with somethng valuable. It is always a win.
Meditate… do not delay, lest you later regret it.
Buddha
Why I Love Meditating
The thing I love most about my meditation practice is how connected I feel to the practice in itself. It is like being deeply in love with a person. I cannot get enough of it.
This is because when we meditate we are loving a person deeply – that person is ourselves.
When we meditate we are dedicating intimate time to ourself. Unfortuately, this is something that we rarely have time to do during the rest of our day.
Every time I meditate I meet myself for the first time, giving myself the opportunity to fall in love with the parts I love, and even more, with the parts I never liked.
The Doubter, Seeker & Overachiever
I love meditation because it awakens a part of us that has a tendency to truly fall asleep. Our curiosty.
As adults, we stop asking. Lack of time, lack of concentration, lack of practice. Fear about what we might find out.
We lose our curiostiy about ourselves, our dreams, our potential, our relationships, and life in general.
And with this life begins to feel boring or even worse, like a chore – something we just need to do or get done.
Brutal, but true.
There is no life that is not valuable. There is no life that doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged and cherished.
Even the most horrific life holds the hope of an awakening, even the most tragic life can be a lesson received intentionally by another.
Life, just because it is life, is the divine. There is always something to honor and explore.
From The pOst, Living With Intention
Meditation gets us getting curious again. Doubting, seeking, and cultivating qualities in us that become stagnant when life becomes all about the run and the result.
We find our kid spirit, our beginner’s mind, the stargazer in us – wishing upon that star and believing, maybe, just maybe, our greatest desires and intentions can come true.
We remember to live life with intention and in full color.
And we remember how interesting and meaningful our life is when we give ourselves time to sit with it and explore.
Guided Meditations & Core Values
So this sense of curiosity. Who am I? What core values and qualities do I wish to focus on? What is meaningful to me?
These are just a few of the questions that come up during a meditaiton practice. And there is no limit to the doubting, seeking, and cultivating.
When you sit, the curiosity just flows and flows. It is stimulated by simply noticing the breath circulating in your body, mind, and heart.
And this is also why I LOVE to practice with and create guided meditations.
Guided meditations feed the overachiever learner and better-me-selfer in me, in the best way.
When creating a guided meditation I love to include questions that can guide us to the human beings we want to show up as in our lives.
Each meditation becomes a source of essential wisdom and profound self-inquiry.
May My Guided Meditation Serve To Awaken
Our practice is a training ground for our life. And I personally seek for this training ground to serve me to awaken so that I may awaken to serve others.
I can only do this when my practice serves to align me with the qualities and core values that shape my thoughts, behavior, and a sense of connection that makes life feel meaningful.
Such qualities and core values include:
- love
- joy
- compassion
- kindness
- gratitude
- forgiveness
- patience
- curiostiy
- integrity
- courage
- honesty
- discipline
- stability
- growth
- intention
- connection
And so on.
One thing that the practice teaches us is to be fully present. Not only to our lives, but to the details. Our environment, habits, choices, and values.
There is no doubt that despite our intentions to live with deepened awareness, we will continue to fall asleep. Our practice is here to wake us up again and again and again,
From the Post, How To Sleep Better With Bedtime Yoga
Guided or Not Guided? This Is A Common Question
This does not mean that I never meditate on my own or that I cannot cultivate my best self without a guide.
Meditating without a voice guiding us can be extremely beneficial and therapeutic. Placing ourself in a situation of stillness and silence always is.
But I find that when my mind is extra busy and scrambled, which it often is, a beautiful, guided meditation acts like a gentle fast pass to deeper awareness and self-study.
The Answer:
There is no better or worse way to meditate. There is only a best way for you right now.
As always, I invite all of us to remain open, try new things, experiment, and find what feels best for us in the present moment.
On to The Question – How Can I Serve?
As we sit, questions will naturally arise. Whether these questions regard ourselves, relationships with others or the big, wide world, there is one HUGE question, when focused on, that has the ability to connect everything – answer it all. And this question is: How can I serve?
Often I will take time to sit all alone and listen to nature as I clear my mind.
I can literally lose and find myself simultaneously with the sound of birds chirping and wind ruffling through trees from above.
The beauty of meditation is that you begin to get answers even when you haven’t figured out what the question is yet.
As motivational author and speaker, Wayne Dyer says, Instead of asking for something for yourself, put all of your energy and attention into visualizing yourself in a capacity of serving, offering, or creating. It’s then that doors begin to open for you.
The doors do not open when we are constantly directly or indirectly focusing on, what’s in it for me?
They open when we dedicate ourselves to something much more energetically packed – how may I serve?
How To Make Time For A Daily Meditation Practice
I have so much to accomplish today that I must meditate for two hours instead of one.
Gandhi
Let me ask you something. Do you care about your health, your relationships, your job, and your joy?
As always, I am asking us to please be honest.
Your schedule is already way too full. There is simply no time to sit with yourself and do nothing. STOP!
If this is going through your mind, go back and read this post again.
Sitting with yourself is the most important thing you will do in a day.
I don’t always have time to practice yoga in the evening. Or rather, I don’t believe to have the time. Because this is the way our mind speaks.
I have to do this. I have to do that. I’d rather wind down in front of Netflix or on my computer or phone. It is more relaxing. I deserve to relax.
Time spent like this only feeds to our stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and decreased physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO RELAX.
From the post, How to sleep better with bedtime yoga
So instead of saying –
- I don’t have time or the energy.
- I need to wind down.
- I’ll do it when I catch up and it is all done.
– be honest and say –
- I’m not going to do it.
- It just isn’t a priority for me.
And then add, I really do not care about improving myself or my life.
There Is No Time For Rigidity
As time passes, we get rigid. We find it difficult to break patterns and habits, especially those which are not serving us or our lives.
Too often, we get stuck in our schedules, ideas of responsibility, so many expectations – both ours and from others – a pace that is not suitable for our human being.
We limit ourselves. We lose our curiosty, remember?
Beliefs about who we are, what we can or cannot do – should or should not do.
Beliefs about what scares us. Distorted perceptions.
And with all this we forget how to choose ourselves first, choose ourselves.
We stop paying attention which translates into no time for meditation, healthy habits, or happiness.
We forget who we are and what makes us feel joyful and alive.
The questions are never stimulated. The questions are therefore never answered. Those questions:
- So who are you?
- What do you need, really?
- How can you be more alive today?
- Where are you too rigid?
- What are you waiting for to finally choose you?
- What matter to you most?
- What is necessary for a meaninful life?
- How can you serve?
When we don’t choose, life chooses. And darling, it is not always on our side.
And it passes by quickly. Our time.
We get more stuck. More rigid. Less able to just be in our humanness. Simply sit.
There Is A Solution To Rigidity
Meditate (with me). 😉
Change your perception to the meditate for two hours instead of one mindset.
You have time. Lots of our stuff really can wait.
What can’t wait is mental and emotional wellbeing, your relationships or a meaningful life.
Remember that when something really matters we keep our promise. This must include the promises that we make to ourselves.
We are talking about 28 days.
After that you can decide to keep it or leave it. But you won’t know how much you love it or hate it if you don’t give yourself permission to try.
All in try.
So say YES and cultivate a more flexible, curious you.
PRE-PROGRAM SUGGESTIONS:
- Make it a habit. Treat it as a ritual. Set a time. Add it to your calendar, both physical and mental.
- I believe that the best time is first thing in the morning before you start your day (as the day proceeds there is more possibility of detours), but choose the time that works best for you.
- It helps to communicate your commitment to others. It has a way of keeping you accountable when you announce it.
- Also, let the people who live with you know the sacredness of this committment for you and your life.
- Ask someone to join you. Organize a meditation group. You can meditate together or individually and then check in on one another and maybe share your experience.
Your 28 Day Guided Meditation Program
About These Guided Meditations And This Program
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times.
BRUCE LEE
Each guided meditation is an original, guided meditation created by me and is meant to stimulate you to dive into your feeling body and release your true self by developing essential core values.
INTENTION, CONNECTION, TRUST, PATIENCE, COURAGE, ACCEPTANCE AND STABILITY.
You will intentionally repeat each meditation 4 times. There is enormous value in repetition.
Through repetition, we allow ourselves to:
- go deeper and deeper within.
- notice the shifts taking place in our body and mind,
- pay attention to how different the expereince can be each time you practice each given meditation.
- have time to cultivate the qualities and values that will enable personal growth and a sense of wholeness.
Suggested Props
- yoga block or cushion
- blanket, socks, a sweater or sweatshirt
- headphones
- a notebook or journal
Practice Suggestions
- Follow the calendar (screenshot or save image to desktop and PRINT) as closely as possible for the next 4 weeks. Each meditation will be practiced 4 times.
- SUBSCRIBE TO YouTube Channel (Click Here) and SAVE THE MEDITATIONS for easy access.
- Commit to practicing every day for the indicated amount of time – set a date with yourself.
- See the bonus meditations if you wish to spend more time with yourself. SAVE THESE AS WELL.
- Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Focus on the effort and not the results. Build it and it shall come.
- Use notebook or journal to jot down how you feel before and /or after you practice.
- Write any other thoughts, words or phrases that resonate with you, etc. in your notebook or journal.
- Linger for a moment afterwards. Scan your body. Check in again. Notice how you feel after your practice.
- Remember that your breath is your anchor always. It is also a safe place. So pay attention not only during your meditation practice, but throughout the day. Take several breaks throughout the day to take 3 full breaths. Bring your practice into your life.
DAY 1 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To INTENTION
The Set Your Intention Meditation, Time: 8 Minutes
RESOURCE – LIVING WITH INTENTION – Why Setting Intentions Is the Most Important Thing I Do Every Morning
DAY 2 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To CONNECTION
The Deep Connection Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 3 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To TRUST
The Trusting Yourself Meditation, Time: 13 Minutes
DAY 4 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To PATIENCE
The Build Your Patience Meditation, Time: 18 Minutes
DAY 5 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To COURAGE
The Manage Fear & Anxiety Meditation, Time: 23 Minutes
RESOURCE – HOW TO TRANSCEND FEAR & ANXIETY – On Becoming Fearless
DAY 6 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To ACCEPTANCE
The Light In The Cracks Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 7 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To STABILITY
The I’m Feeling Unsteady Meditation Time: 20 Minutes
DAY 8 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To INTENTION
The Set Your Intention Meditation, Time: 8 Minutes
DAY 9 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To CONNECTION
The Deep Connection Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 10 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To TRUST
The Trusting Yourself Meditation, Time: 13 Minutes
Journal Prompt
DAY 11 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To PATIENCE
The Build Your Patience Meditation, Time: 18 Minutes
Journal Prompt
DAY 12 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To COURAGE
The Manage Fear & Anxiety Meditation, Time: 23 Minutes
DAY 13 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To ACCEPTANCE
The Light In The Cracks Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 14 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To STABILITY
The I’m Feeling Unsteady Meditation Time: 20 Minutes
DAY 15 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To INTENTION
The Set Your Intention Meditation, Time: 8 Minutes
DAY 16 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To CONNECTION
The Deep Connection Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 17 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To TRUST
The Trusting Yourself Meditation, Time: 13 Minutes
DAY 18 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To PATIENCE
The Build Your Patience Meditation, Time: 18 Minutes
DAY 19 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To COURAGE
The Manage Fear & Anxiety Meditation, Time: 23 Minutes
DAY 20 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To ACCEPTANCE
The Light In The Cracks Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 21 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To STABILITY
The I’m Feeling Unsteady Meditation Time: 20 Minutes
DAY 22 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To INTENTION
The Set Your Intention Meditation, Time: 8 Minutes
DAY 23 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To CONNECTION
The Deep Connection Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 24 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To TRUST
The Trusting Yourself Meditation, Time: 13 Minutes
DAY 25 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To PATIENCE
The Build Your Patience Meditation, Time: 18 Minutes
DAY 26 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To COURAGE
The Manage Fear & Anxiety Meditation, Time: 23 Minutes
DAY 27 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To ACCEPTANCE
The Light In The Cracks Meditation, Time: 15 Minutes
DAY 28 – Guided Meditation Dedicated To STABILITY
The I’m Feeling Unsteady Meditation Time: 20 Minutes
28 Days of Guided Meditation Calendar
(SCREENSHOT OR SAVE IMAGE ABOVE TO DESKTOP AND PRINT FOR REFERENCE.)
BONUS DAY 29 FEEL GOOD
The Feel Joy Again Guided Meditation Time: 7 Minutes
More Guided Meditation Practices for extra time with yourself
EXTRA BEDTIME PRACTICE
The Slowing Down & Just Be Meditation Time: 16 Minutes
Body Scan For Loving Awareness Meditation Time: 20 Minutes
The Unwind Your Mind Meditation Time: 13 Minutes
EXTRA MIDDAY BREAK PRACTICE
The Daily Recharge Meditation Time: 16 Minutes
The Joy of Breath Meditation Time: 10 Minutes
The I Choose To Feel Grateful Today Meditation Time: 10 Minutes
Final Note
On Deciding
I am a direct experience girl. If you know me you know this.
You can’t know unless you try it. Give it a real possibility. Feel it on your skin and in your heart.
The first step is always the most difficult and it is also the most important part. It is the decision.
When we decide – truly decide – we cut all other options out of the picture.
decide (v.)
from Latin decidere “to decide, determine,” literally “to cut off,” from de “off” (see de-) + caedere “to cut”
It is the DECISION that determines whether you act – whether you will choose to follow this 28 Day Guided Meditation Calendar that I am proposing or not. Whether you will care for yourself by intentionally choosing what matters most. Prioritize you!
Shifting Perceptions
So can you shift your perception?
For some of you it may be all about this.
Meditation. Sitting in silence. Asking questions. Being open and courageous enough to receive the answers.
Can you see the pleasure in all this? What meaning does your mental and emotional health and the way it impacts every aspect of your life have in your life right now?
Pleasure or pain. This is it. This is what will determine, am I in or am I out.
Once you make the leap from “stillness is pain ” to “stillness is pleasure” whatever sacrifice you make becomes sacred.
And you are ready to…
- trust this journey of deepened self-awareness.
- cultivate those core values and qualities.
- show up in an amazing new way.
- be less reactive to what happens outside of you and in the world.
Also…
- You stop waiting for things to straighten out, be figured out.
- You embrace your quirks, cracks, and imperfections.
- You stop wishing for a miracle to save you and you become the miracle.
- Every aspect of life becomes part of the complete experience just because you show up on your cushion every day.
MEDITATION DOES ALL THIS AND MORE.
Make The Committment
And you, darling friend, are ready to meditate with me.
And my heart is smiling big and wide at this possibility. Because I want to share all of this with you. This is why I am here. This is why any of us are here. To cultivate all of this beauty together.
So make the committment. 28 days.
Start today. Start this coming Sunday or Monday, or any other day. Just start. Carve out this wonderful time for yourself, with yourself (and with me).
I can’t wait to hear about your 28 day meditation journey. Drop comments, thoughts, and questions below or after each practice in the comment section on YouTube. Or you can connect with me here. Please share!
May our minds find calm, our hearts open, and our souls feel soothed.
