This is the time of year that I make the most lists: To-do lists and to-do lists for my to-do lists. The gift, grocery, holiday menu, things shipped and delivered, stuff to buy and return, thank you card, thank you email, emails to respond to. Posts, texts, calls, dms. Random reminders. The books I didn’t get to and I still want to read, everything I didn’t get to and will have to be transferred to the lists of the new year,.. Except for this year.

On The Top

This year, I was blocked (or could I think of it as being saved) from most of the holiday tradition of preparings and doings and list makings. I will explain in a moment. And because of this blockage (or savior 🙌), I am keeping it simple. Well, I am forced to keep it simple.

So I gave who I could, what I could. Not preparing elaborate meals and asking for help with what I am preparing. Giving thanks in simpler ways. And passing over most of the lists.

However, there is one that I am holding on to. Because on the top of my list of lists there are my Reminders to Grow kind of lists.

Never to be skipped.

Actually, I have had much time for this. And this is why…

THIS POST IS SHORT, BUT IF YOU WANT TO JUMP STRAIGHT TO THE REMINDERS CLICK HERE.

Mama Got Run Over By A Smart Car

I didn’t get to publish a blog post last week. (Actually 2 weeks considering that this post is a week late.) On Friday, December 15th, my younger daughter, Bianca Jade, and I were run over by a car in my mom’s garage. To be more precise, a Smart Car.

(and as my dad kiddingly added, ‘without a smart driver.’ 😂 Again and to avoid anyone getting offended, he was only kidding. I am speaking to the driver here.)

Besides for saying that I was too immersed in my morning coffee to see it coming, I am not going to get into the details. It really isn’t my story to tell (at least, not yet).

But let me tell you, it was an experience. And definitely not one that I could ever have imagined having right before the New Year, or any time.

It was insane. Really.

Believing In A Guardian Angel

I think that someone is watching out for me, God, my guardian angel, I’m not sure who that is, but they really work hard.

Mattie Stepanek

As it replays itself in my mind, I feel that something or someone (maybe my stepdad from above) was definitely looking over us.

In fact, it was my stepdad’s heavy-duty, neon green trike that saved us from a much more serious impact. 

Reminders That The Glass Is Definitely Half Full

The important thing is that Bianca Jade is ok. Her foot is a bit swollen. She has bruises and kinks. I am ok except for issues with my back and neck which will heal in time. It could have been soooooo much worse!

Of course, if you know me, you know that I am keeping my fingers crossed for a speedy recovery. With patience, of course. 🙌

As I carefully made my way to the floor this morning to practice an hour of restorative yoga, I prayed just a little:

May it not disrupt my regular yoga practice for too long. 

But more importantly, since the accident, I am basically just so grateful for nothing more serious happening to all involved. The feeling of feeling blessed is skyrocketing right now.

‘Tis The Season And Reminders Are Everywhere

This incident feels like the culmination of a month of craziness, and with this, deepened awareness and profound lessons – lessons and reminders. They are showing up everywhere. READ HERE TO GET A RECAP or if you are grieving in this moment. And ALSO HERE.

And dear friend, I am seeing and embracing them with dear life. The biggest one being that this life is so dear.

Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.

Maya Angelou

Today I am sharing just a few things that I have been reminded – 12 to be exact -as I move deeper into:

1. the loss of my stepdad,
2. the give and take of supporting one another, and
3. the fragility and craziness of relationships, sanity, and life…

and as all of us move closer to the New Year…. moving and growing!

First A Thing About The Holidays

So how have the holidays been treating you so far?

Holidays are most often promoted as all cheer, joy, and eggnog, but this is most definitely that: promotion. Really good marketing campaigns want us to buy more stuff, set more elaborate tables. Decorate more. Dress better.

In reality they rarely are about these things. Or at least not primarily.

Because the truth is that the holiday season is amazing for some and not so amazing for many.

The holiday season is a lot about the rush, the too little time and the too much spending, overeating and then regreting, and relationships – beautiful, difficult, and lost. Yes, all types of relationships.

All of a sudden you are pushed into spaces with all the people you love and often, a few people you don’t like so much or get along with.

More time spent with people who we normally do not spend as much time with – entertaining, maybe emotionally supporting.

More time spent hearing other people’s needs, opinions – criticism and judgment.

Maybe more time spent grieving as we feel the loss of who is no longer around.

‘Christmas just isn’t the same without Nonna’s stuffed tomatoes or Nonna.’

And for some, like me, time to be reminded about our relationship with life’s challenges and the pains of the world.

Connected with holidays is our relationship with our relationships: with ourselves, with others, with our life, and heck, with the world.

The end-of-year holiday season is a potentially very emotional season. It is afterall, an end. And with this, a season for deep reflection often squeezed in between the tree trimming, the table setting… the toasting and the cheer.

You may even find yourself having a difficult time. You are not alone.

With the passing away of my stepdad, this period has put me face-to-face with my relationships. All of them.

So based on my experience these past weeks, here are some things that I have remembered.

12 Reminders (in no special order) for healthier relationships with ourselves, others & life

12 reminders for the holidays and beyond. I have been reminded…

1.  To pay attention, this is our most important and endless work.
2.  To focus on myself. Always, and especially when dealing with emotionally difficult people.
3.  We cannot break down other people’s walls and greatness does not require us to climb them either. Better is to just sprinkle a few seeds and walk away for a bit. 
4.  We cannot control what we cannot control. But we can set the conditions necessary to respond effectively to the uncontrollable.
5.  Freedom is letting go of expectations.
6.  To stay calm. This is our greatest resource.
7.  The words we use and how we speak matters, above all for our own well-being. Watch that tone too.
8.  Boundaries are not rude. In certain situations they are a must. A SINE QUA NON.
9.  Life requires a sense of humor. This is our second greatest resource (or maybe our first).
10.  In every situation, there is always something to be grateful for.
11.  Life is fragile. Treat it with care.
12.  In every moment we could die. And in every moment, we can choose to live. 
     

Speaking of reminders: ANOTHER QUICK SHOUT OUT FOR..

 

You can purchase the book, THE SAD PRINCESS – The search for a happily-ever-after smile by CLICKING HERE. 

THE ITALIAN VERSION IS AVAILABLE HERE  (so please share this link in ITALY) 🙏
If you have time, please LEAVE A REVIEW on Amazon or Goodreads. This helps so much.

For all of you who have purchased the book and helped me spread the word, saying THANK YOU is not nearly enough for what I am feeling for ya. But, THANK YOU!!!

Final Note & More Reminders

I will be making the posts shorter and may or may not be posting on the blog next week. Rest is a priority as I heal. And I know that you just do not have the time.

Wishing You A Wonderful, Holiday Season With A Couple Of Other Reminders

During the rush, remember to take care of yourself by rushing slowly enough to enjoy!

Speaking of taking care of yourself, going slow, and enjoying: Remember to take your moments during the holiday craze.

Creating the perfectly roasted potatoes (click for my favorite, simple recipe) and holiday ambience for your full house can wait.

Take a seat and breathe as you repeat my go-to holiday, self-care mantra: I’m easing myself to please myself.

Also, here are two special guided meditations – one for you and one for you and your loved ones: 

• MANIFEST AN AMAZING DAY
• SNOWFLAKE BODY SCAN to connect with yourself, family & friends
  
  My heart reaching out to yours and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! 🎄⭐

Further Reading

• 10 Daily Reminders That You Need To Use To Love Yourself, Be Grateful and Feel Empowered
• When You Are Somewhere Between Despair And Dreams
• 7 Of The Best Motivational Books To Buy And Gift For A Better You (& World)