Do I have a right to say that my heart is breaking right now? That the images, videos, and thoughts about so much suffering in this world – not my suffering and yet yes, mine – is making my heart break? Can I actually say this as I open an overpacked fridge, turn on and off the lights at free will, watch a movie with my daughters while cuddled together in bed as we pass around the second container of ice cream and a family size bag of chips? What do and do we not have a right to feel when the suffering is not directly ours, when we know that somewhere in the world people are fighting and dying… every second, living beings are being abused and exploited? And is it ok to think about ourselves and how to protect joy in all this?
I know that you are just as compassionate and confused about all of this as I am. And maybe you share similar feelings and thoughts right now. So let’s talk about it today.
We Are Safe And We Need To Be Protected
As I am writing this week’s blog post, I ask myself all of these questions, along with the question:
What can I write about that will feel less self-centered in this space today?
Because the reality is darling friend, I am here. You are there.
In this moment, most of us, safe and cozy under a stable roof, Us with all of our comforts and privileges.
And yet suffering and in conflict as we inundate ourselves with the all the tragic events unfolding in this very moment.
Our reality is that every day and every hour of the day, we are bombarded with all kinds of information, much of it bad and really scary: news reports, social media, text messages, emails – words, photos, videos – all fighting for our attention.
It has no limit. But we do.
Because when we do not protect ourselves, the bad and scary takes us over.
And this not only affects our life, but all life.
Searching For Answers – The Rights & Wrongs Of Protecting Joy
I just returned from sipping another soy cappuccino. It is a daily ritual.
What a luxury.
My eyes trying to avoid the images of real people exposed on the front page of the newspaper at their most vulnerable moment – omg, the children – dying off as if it were normal.
Normal.
I slightly smirk so not to cry. My eyes and heart, as I suppose yours, feel like they can take no more.
Because this type of news is brutal and maybe also because it causes the unspoken guilt to rise.
Guilt for our blessings and for what we are doing or not doing.
Guilt also for maybe thinking how this will affect our lives, the lives of our own children. How is it already affecting us. This is the voice of fear speaking.
Has this type of stuff come to your mind?
As I am typing this, I am also thinking, Can I actually be so self-centered?
And I continue with the questions –
- Does showing love, compassion, and respect require us to feel only pain?
- Is it alright to hold space for our fear?
- And once again, is wanting to protect joy wrong and if it is ok, how do we actually do this?
The Answer Is Not Looking Away
When we see or hear something that causes us pain, our natural instinct is to look away, shut out the sound and flee.
Our survival mode turns on to protect our heart from suffering for things that can never be within our control.
So we resist believing that certain happenings in the world are true.
We avoid watching real life images of violence and hate. We distract best we can in an attempt to remove ourselves from our intense feelings about all of the injustice.
And way too often, we remain silent – which clearly expresses our desire to disassociate from the guilt, pain, and sense of responsibility.
However, these things never work.
Difficulty in the world is our difficulty. It is not a clear-cut take it or leave it issue. Like it or not. Conscious or less conscious. We are taking it. And big time.
From the Blog Post, How To Cultivate Gratitude In our Lives
Run, hide, lie to yourself all you want. Our emotions do not go just away. They build. The Guilt. Our sense of privilege. Fear and helplessness. The questions about how we belong to it all.
They silently scream inside of us. And the potency of this keeps digging a bigger and bigger hole in our heart.
As long as poverty, injustice and gross inequality persist in our world, none of us can truly rest.
Nelson Mandela
It Is Very Right to Protect Joy
May I remind us that fear and compassion can coexist in our human hearts.
So what is the answer? The answer is:
- Acknowlegding the injustice
- Mindfully informing ourselves
- Recognizing our feelings, including our own fear
- Setting boundaries (because more information does not equate with more caring)
- Protecting joy in ourselves and in the world
- Having the courage to understand our responsibility and then take action for change
Saying something like this to ourselves,
Ok. This is real. This is horrific. I feel for the suffering of others and the world. I am scared for them and also for myself. These feelings belong. And I am committed to do whatever I can to be a postive participant in reducing negativity, heightening awareness, and spreading compassion, kindness, and love.
What works is not bypassing any of the suffering by allowing ourselves to feel all that we are feeling and then doing what we need to do to protect our joy and light.
What We Can Do To Protect Our Joy In This Unjust World
We are moving through a heavy moment in time. Been there. heard that. Right? Because honestly, none of this is new. The feelings of being heartbroken, overwhelmed, scared, and maybe even paralyzed have been around for a while.
It is difficult to feel empowered when there seems to be no ending.
As a friend said to me the other day, there is always something and there always will be. This applies just as much to our personal lives as it does to everything else.
It is difficult to feel hopeful when you personally feel so helpless.
And yet, we are so much more powerful than we ever remember.
Our first responsibility is to remember this.
I have said it before. I will say it again and again.
We have a responsibility to protect joy.
May we use our heartbreak, frustration, and fear to ignite our inner power instead of allowing the difficulties to dim our light and joy completely.
This is how we empower ourselves to offer compassion, love, and support for the painful experiences of others around the world. This is how we protect ourselves.
And this is how we do it...
#1. We Can Truly Accept That The World Is Unfair
The world is unjust and chaotic. Repeat this: It will never be fair.
We must accept this for the clear reason that it is absoulutely useless to resist it.
Refusing to accept that the world is full of unjust loss, violence, abuse, exploitation, and manipulation, just produces prolonged and increased suffering inside of us.
There is no alternative to acceptance when we are dealing with things that will never be within our control.
So we stop clinging on to what we wish would be.
We switch the “must be/should be/if only” attitude for a “this is how things are and although I do not condone many aspects of this life, I can stop resisting them” approach.
When we move through this, we can finally see the world for what it is and all that it is. Unjust. Painful. Heartbreaking. Chaotic. And a beautiful miracle.
Try this guided meditation for acceptance: LIGHT IN THE CRACKS, 15 minutes
#2. We Can Put The Guilt & Other Negative Emotions Down
May I remind us that injustice is not new. May I remind us that there is an immeasurable amount of unjust suffering in this world.
There has always been, and although I would love to believe differently, there will most probably always be.
And because of all of this, we simply cannot absorb all the injustice in this world – near and far.
If we get ourselves wrapped up in the massiveness of it, we will drown.
As human beings we are have the innate ability to feel another’s pain as if it were our own.
This often leads to guilt, fear, and lots of other debilitating emotions regarding our responsibility, our blessings, and our own third person suffering.
However, when we do not learn how to release them, they become detrimental to our physical, mental, and emotional health. When this happens, we aren’t good for anybody.
So we must set down to move forward. Even better, we could learn not to pick it up in the first place.
I will repeat it once again – for myself first – there is no permanent spot in our hearts for the suffering that we have absolutely no control over.
And it is not humanly possible to be caretakers for the entire world.
Soffocating ourselves in guilt and other negative emotions is not the answer.
This will not end war or any other type of suffering going on in the world, now or ever.
Being compassionate does not requires us to remain in the pain. Being compassionate asks us to protect joy.
Try this guided meditation for releasing negative emotions and cultivating postive energy: WILLFUL OPTIMISM, 20 minutes
#3. We Can Rise Our Light
May we not abandon our joy. Joy is hope. Light in someone else’s cracks.
If we allow ourselves to fall deep in despair, especially for other people’s trauma, we cannot offer them our gifts.
From the Post, How To Cultivate Gratitude in Our Lives
Suffering exists and so does joy.
Once we feel this profoundly, our responsibility is to honor this by holding space for both every day.
True joy does not discount real suffering; it shines all the greater in the midst of it.
Melissa B. Kruger
Our thoughts and feelings get transferred, more widely than we know.
And so our responsibility begins and ends with what we choose to hold in our hearts.
This world needs our light to rise.
God knows there are enough people taking care of the darkness.
Our responsibility is to cultivate more joy, love, compassion, and gratitude.
Try this guided meditation to cultivate divine light: DAILY RECHARGE for Love & Energy, 15 minutes
#4. We Can Reconnect Everything
Reconnecting With Our Thoughts, Speech, & Choices
We are all being intimately affected by the horrific events that are unfolding in the Middle East right now. Add to this all the other innocent beings suffering around the world, lives being stolen by such things as conflict, hatred, and disasters.
It is easy to point fingers, express judgment, transfer blame to one side, and build on to the hate and anger. This is often our instinct when we care so much, feel out of control and helpless.
I see this in my own relationships when an argument takes place. It is so much more difficult to see clearly and look within.
It hurts even more I suppose when we own up to our responsibility.
When we have to look at our broken parts, mistakes, where we intentionally or unintentionally cause harm. Because the fact is that we do.
On some level, we cause harm every day. All of us.
Whether it is to the people we love – even our children – people we interact with, people we will never encounter. Other living beings and the world.
We harm and we will continue to harm.
We can be more aware of this – become more aware of our thoughts, speech, and choices. And this is when we can begin to add more to this world instead of detracting from.
May we be(aware) of:
- What we are so certain of. This is a killer.
- How we defend our point of view. This is a dangerous weapon.
- How we use our money. This is too often more harmful than we want to believe.
- The food we eat and the ways we choose to entertain ourselves. Not delicious or fun when it causes suffering.
Everything is connected. When we fail to see this, we are causing more separation.
We can also become more aware of the suffering that is closer to home.
Ask yourself:
- Do I look away?
- Am I too busy?
- Is it inconvenient?
- Where can I do better?
Reconnecting With Our Responsibility To Do Better
Truthfully, I know that I will continue being insensitive at times. And I also know that I can do better.
We all can.
Instead of repeating things like,
How can I have so much and they have so little? How can my children feel safe and loved and so easily fulfilled of their basic needs and those children… those children...
commit yourself to doing better.
And instead of remaining stuck in the negativity and helplessness, choose not to take even a moment of your life – not even one – for granted.
This is how we acknowledge the pain and honor all life. And this is how we protect joy.
Reconnecting With Our Practice
When we feel overwhelmed by collective grief, we need something to turn to – a practice. We need daily reminders and intentions to anchor us.
We can practice meditation, gratitude, journaling.
We can form groups to connect and spread passion, joy, and love.
We can turn to nature as our inspiration.
Whatever feels right, this is the practice that will serve.
Our practice gives us space to move through the negative emotions and suffering and on to the investigating, learning, healing, supporting, loving, and shining brighter.
When we need our practice the most, we will never be in a calm and centered place.
Our practice serves us most when we are most challenged, most frustrated, most confused, most angry, most disappointed, and most hurt.
We may be attempted to abandon our practice in these moments. DON’T DO THIS!
Instead we need to step it up. More…
- stillness
- self-inquiry
- gratitude
- protecting joy.
These are the things that empower us to make transformative shifts in ourself, our life, and the world.
Try the 28 Day Guided Meditation Journey To Reconnect with Essential Core Values. Click Here For Info.
#5. We Can Avoid Causing More Separation
Pointing, judging, and hating is the coward’s choice.
Hate, anger, a sense of superiority, and this idea of separation is what makes the world ache.
Can we contribute less to this?
This is how we begin to reconnect what has been disconnected within and without us.
No judgment here darling friends. I am speaking to myself first.
May we hold space for our responsibility to stop the separation. Stop the constant attack.
May we remember that what affects you, affects me and affects all the innocent victims around the globe.
May we stop fueling the war between us beautiful, ordinary folk.
This only makes those in power happier.
It reinforces their power to continue wars necessary to proceed with their corrupt political agendas.
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Choose People, Not Governments
It is easy to forget that innocent people are not their governments.
We are looking for answers. And with this, we attempt to wrap our minds around someone specific to blame.
But the reality is that life is complicated. Governments are complicated. And they are also deceiving.
We stop being victims of this when we intentionally choose to feel connected with the people who aren’t the real enemy.
May we approach what happens in the world with humility and love – remembering that ALL OF THE VICTIMS of the world are made of love just like us.
We may be different, but we all desire the same basic things. Safety, the ability to provide for our loved ones, connection, and love.
So let’s pray for one another and with one another.
Try this guided meditation to connect with yourself, others, and the world: DEEP CONNECTION, 15 minutes
#6. We Can Help Somebody
One way to keep your heart together when the world weighs heavy on it is to simply help somebody, even it’s just one person.
Cleo Wade
Look for opportunities to help and show people that you care. Small, big, something in between.
Spread kindness and love by offering of yourself.
Sometimes I catch myself being shy or scared to reach out to another person. Especially someone who doesn’t know me.
However, every time I do, I am reminded how incredibly important even the smallest act is.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I do not have time.
But every time I take the time, I realize that it is always worth my time.
Giving will always feel joyful and full. Do it for others. Most of all, do it for yourself.
Remind yourself daily that you have time for things that protect joy.
Try this guided meditation to set the intention of giving today: SET YOUR INTENTION, 8 minutes
Final Note – Intentionally Hold Space To Protect Joy
We waste so much time worrying, distracting, judging and complaining. Feeling heartbroken. So much of our life.
But, this life is always a miracle.
With all the pain, suffering, and injustice, no one can take this away from us when we choose to follow our joy and inner light.
So once again, go within. Sit in silence a little bit more.
HOLD SPACE FOR THE LIGHT TO RISE THROUGHOUT YOU. For it to spread out into the world.
- Put down the paper.
- Shut off the news.
- Stop scrolling.
- And hold space to protect joy.
I find myself trying to reach out more often these past weeks. I am intentionally scheduling in time to make the phone call, write the message, say I love you.
It may not be much, but it is to the person receiving it. It is to me.
And I do believe that our love – in all forms and sizes – spreads the energy and light that all humanity needs right now.
Every time we say something that makes someone feel seen, heard, and understood, the entire world softens and brightens a little bit more.
So take a moment in each day to extend the part of yourself that is deeply feeling the heartbreak, frustration, and fear.
It need not be huge. It may simply be saying or writing:
- I am here.
- I am praying for you.
- I love you.
- I care about you.
- You are not going through this alone.
(Say it to yourself as well.)
This is the part that serves humanity the most. It is love and compassion. It is the light.
And it is protecting joy – yours, mine, and theirs.
May we make no more room for hate. May we love, wish well, pray, and heal together.
And may your light rise super high and bright today.
I thank you for this precious gift.
Resources
Further Reading
- HOW TO SEIZE TIME – Remembering Gratitude When Stuck In A Liminal Space
- LIVING WITH INTENTION – Why Setting Intentions Is The Most Important Thing I Do Every Morning
- HOW TO PRACTICE FORGIVENESS – 6 Ways To Release Hurt & Anger
- HOW TO LIVE IN THE FLOW – Accepting The Impermanence Of Life
- HOW TO BECOME A HAPPIER HUMAN BEING .- 4 Truths To Arriving At The Happy Life
- 10 DAILY REMINDERS YOU NEED TO USE TO LOVE YOURSELF, BE GRATEFUL, AND FEEL EMPOWERED
- HOW TO MAINTAIN DEEP CONNECTION IN AN INFORMATION CRAZED, DISCONNECTED WORLD
