Once again I find myself with my fingers touching the keyboard and a huge blank space staring back at me. Lost in loss. I mean, feeling so much and nothing at the same time. Knowing that you and I are here to be inspired, to cultivate our intentions and our dreams as we enter the holiday season and the New Year approaches. But lemme tell you something. Honestly, I just don’t know what it’s gonna look like today.
And tho it is really beginning to feel like a pattern, I am going in brave.
The Search
As I sit here in the lanau of my mom’s house in sunny Florida, my mind is full of thoughts, to do lists, emotions about my step-dad not being here, and doubts about being able to support my mom the way she needs to be supported right now after losing the man she spent the past 40 years with – the last 10 or so, hip-to-hip.
At the same time, I am juggling lots of family issues back home in Italy and trying to move forward with the promoting of my first book, THE SAD PRINCESS – The search for a happily-ever-after smile, which I really, really want to get into your homes and hands for the holidays.
What felt like a lot a month ago, feels like cakewalk right now.
So in the midst of challenges and doubt and holding on to the dreams, let’s see what I can push out of myself for us today.
Rooted In A Dream
So I am publishing my first book. It is far from the first children’s book that I have writtten.
Actually I have a computer jam-packed with all the stories that have made their way from my imagination to a Microsoft Word doc.
Because the reality is that I have been working towards this dream for 10 years – No. A lifetime.
Deep down as a little girl filling up my journals with family hopes and drama, my insecurities, and all my emotions, I already knew that my dream to share relatable stories would be difficult to falter from.
Later on, when the soul searching began and my daily living practice began to take first row in my life, stories about personal experience, personal growth, and very human emotions, began to naturally flow out of me.
I found out quickly that LESS EASY was actually figuring out how to make the transition from typing an idea in Word to publishing an actual book, with my life lessons sitting cozy between a front and back cover.
Believing in a dream is the opposite of simply drifting along and waiting for something special to happen— we make it happen by not letting go.
So 10 years. A pretty long time. Long enough to have lost my way, doubted, given up, and begin again and again many times over.
This is the journey The Sad Princess is on. This is the journey all of us are on. An inspired journey. A try and try again kinda journey. A healing journey. A very universal journey of courage, committment, and compassion.
So let’s talk about it. The dreams, the doubt, and the determination.
Dreaming is an act of bravery. Holding on to a dream is even braver.
When that holding on involves chasing after our smile, we are the bravest of all.
‘Princess Solana looked at Princess Willa as she told her story. She was so beautiful and courageous.‘
Your Dreams
Do you have a dream? – I mean a lifetime dream. Something that you have been thinking about for forever. Something that would make your heart smile if accomplished.
The Sad Princess has a dream.
Her question is our question: Will she have the humility and courage to hold on long enough to see it through?
“I am so tired of seeing everything
gloomy and grey,” she thought.“Mirror mirror of mine, let my heart
flow and shine!” ordered the princess.
So these dreams of yours. For you, someone else, or the world. But not because you have to prove anything to anyone, but just because. Because just working towards it makes you feel whole.
Reminder: The journey towards your dream is more valuable than any dream coming true.
Ask yourself this question:
- When was the last time I gave myself permission to stop and believe in myself and my dream?
- Who are you without your dreams?
- And what huger than a simple goal thing are you giving up when you abandon them?
Because the thing with dreams is that they are often put on hold. Life gets in the way. And the hold transforms from temporary to forever forgotten.
A life without dreams is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the jelly and on week old bread. Dry. Missing something fundamental. Not good.
The Doubt
So every time something happened along my journey to my dream of publishing a book – a rejection, a project cancelled, an unexpected turning of my life, Life! – I had to come face to face with that insidious inner voice telling me horrible things about myself.
- I couldn’t do it.
- I wasn’t good enough.
- It was too late.
- It just wasn’t happening. Ever.
And that doubt is a nasty bugger. It shows absolutely no sympathy or compassion even when we are at our lowest.
We could be going through a loss or any other form of tremendously hard and the bad stories in our head just do not give up until we do – unless, of course we decide to fight back.
This is where we practice courage, commitment, and compassion. Add humility and maybe a sense of humor to the mix.
We remind ourselves that it is not what we do or get done, but how we do it that matters most – how it feels, my friend.
Don’t Give Up On Yourself
The Sad Princess tried many things while
searching for her happily-ever-after smile.However, her smile was always destined to fade.
A huge part of the doubt is our inability to believe in our capability, especially after a failure. We believe that just because we tried before and failed, we are going to fail again. So we give up.
The only way to counteract this is to be committed to our daily practice.
Every day we clean the slate. Stop focusing on what happened or didn’t happen. We start again.
And we practice strengthening our confidence by taking care of the small stuff – our interactions, our quiet moments, our ability to remain centered – so that we can deal effectively with the big stuff.
The way we wash dishes, the patience we have while sitting in traffic, the confidence we have in ordinary, every day situations, the compassion we demonstrate towards ourselves and others in need –
these are all indications of how efficient or inefficient we will be when our dreams are being tested by the inevitable obstacles of life.
So whether I am feeling challenged on my yoga mat, while communicating a sensitive subject with a family member or fighting exhaustion to get myself to take a walk after dinner, I remember that I am getting stronger and more confident –
that this is what brings me closer to the dream.
Don’t Belittle Your Dream or Yourself
How many times do we fall victim to self-criticism?
- What is wrong with you?
- Why didn’t you make it happen already?
- You’re just wasting time.
- I mean gosh it is just a children’s book. Only 36 pages. It is shorter than a blog post!
Well friends. NO DREAM is just. It is something special. Whatever you are dreaming, as long as you are holding on and moving forward, it is an accomplishment to be acknowledged.
So if you are trying to accomplish something just keep going.
Return to your determination at your own darn pace and without worrying what it looks like, how long it will take, or what anyone thinks about it or you.
I personally think you are courageous and amazing!
Determination
Holding on tightly to our dreams requires us to continuously fuel our determination. And we do this by returning to what or who inspires us and knowing our why.
Know What Or Who Inspire You
At the age of 53, I have had many moments of doubt. With my dream of publishing a book, with this book, and in my life.
However, if I didn’t give up, I owe it to my daughters and my practice. These are the two main things that nurture and nourish my journey.
My daughters because they just inspire me to believe in myself.
If I ask them to believe in themselves can I honestly ask anything less of myself first?
And my practice (yoga, meditation, the practice of gratitude, compassion, self-love, patience, and forgiveness. My writing) because whenever I lose my way, my practice is there to catch me, hold me, and lovingly remind me that I know how to rise.
“Keep searching my child and do not get discouraged,
one day a solution will appear along with your invincible courage,” her magic mirror tenderly said.
Hold On To The Why
A key rule of holding on to your dreams:
Your why has to be bigger than yourself.
Again, like my inspiration, my biggest why is my daughters. I just want to be the best version of myself for them, with them. This is what gets me up in the morning ready to reset my greatest intentions.
My daughters and CHILDREN. All of them.
Children are our hope.
Their light, when permitted to shine, is contagious.
From the blog post – How to cultivate gratitude in our lives – 7 less common things to be grateful for
My love for children is enormous. And unfortunately, my fear for their joy and for their future is just as huge. It is for this reason, that I so badly want to inspire them, along with us adults, to just hold on.
In the book THE SAD PRINCESS, the loss of a smile is a symbol of both my fear and my hope for this world.
The princess’s smile vanishes and yet she holds on to her will to improve.
It represents all that is possible when we do not give up on ourselves, others, or this life.
Be Willing To Fail And Learn
THE SAD PRINCESS reminds us that we have to mess up and fail before we find our way. That when we decide what we want – truly decide – we cut the possibility of giving up out of the equation.
When we don’t feel right in our skin or with our lives we can always do something about it.
When we believe this we get stronger because:
- We learn to listen.
- We know that our past self does not define our future self.
- And we become humble enough to ask.
- We bulid up the courage to go on the journey. And when we do, there is always something extra special to be found way before we arrive.
- We connect with ourselves and we find love outside of ourselves as well.
I have reinforced all of these things along the journey of finally publishing a children’s book, reminded that it is who I am becoming along the way, who I am finding and connecting with, and the journey- always the journey – that counts most.
The Determination To Confront Fear
We all have a Sad Princess inside. The reason this princess lost her smile is the reason we all do. It is the reason our children do.
Not just one thing, but a conglomerate of feelings – anxiousness, solitude, doubt.
And how many times does the fear of life get to us? To our dreams? To our children and their beautiful ideas and hopes?
Life is not simple even for children nowadays.
So much anxiety around them. Visible. Invisible. Fully perceived and deeply felt.
We must instill determination – the determination to believe.
So we return to what matters. We teach them about inner strength, humility, kindness, gratitude, and connection.
We teach them that these core values still have a place in this world, in their world. And the dreams blossom from here. And so do the smiles – inner and outer.
When Dreams Are Put On Hold – Be Kind To Yourself
Life is made up of a zillion choices, each choice affecting our life.
Many of our choices require us to put things that are important to us on hold. Including our dreams.
Sometimes there are other things more important to you and you choose to put your dream in the back of the closet for a while. Maybe they never see the light of day again.
This often happens when family is involved.
- You have to move so that your spouse can take his or her dream job.
- You become a parent.
- Someone needs you.
- You become a caretaker.
You may feel like a failure. Like you gave up. That in some way you should’ve been able to handle it all.
After all, all those successful people on your feed seem to be doing it effortlessly.
The Thing About Comparison
Well, do we ever know the entire story of the stories we are being told with all the filters and filtering going on?
What don’t we see or read?
- Like the dreams given up for the dream.
- Like everything the beautiful, amazing achievers are giving up for their success and popularity. Health. Relationships. Emotional Wellbeing. Simplicity. High prices being paid.
No life is perfect, not even the ones that are perfectly presented. Everyone has to give up something because nobody – nobody – can have it all.
So in those moments when you are drowning in the idea that you have not accomplished the biggie – that lifelong dream – and maybe you start comparing yourself to others (even strangers), remind yourself of what you have accomplished.
- A 20+ year marriage.
- Your children. Witnessing every quarter of an inch of their growth.
- The people in your life who truly feel cared for.
- A healthy mind and body as you age.
- Something else that is incredibly important to you.
- The ability to love yourself fully even without the degree, title, award, big gig, image, fancy house and car… successful career, the bestselling book.
We should never underestimate these less flashy achievements. Remember that these no biggies are someone else’s dream right now.
Be kind to yourself and celebrate where you are today.
The Birth Of My Dream – Introducing The Sad Princess
Today I introduce to you the result of a dream of a girl who’s biggest desire is for all of us to spread light upon the world and the future generation.
THE SAD PRINCESS is my dream, but it is also a dream for you, your family and friends, humanity, and this messy world.
Can we hold on to our will to live, our desire to offer something beautiful, powerful and real – joy, love, connection? Some days it may begin and end with a simple smile.
It is a reminder for humans of all ages that we have choices and a power within that can transform our life.
THE SAD PRINCESS– a children’s book – speaks about us as full human beings along our journey.
Look closely and you shall see yourself, with all your limits and your fullest potential.
Final Note – Dreams Need Support
I am so happy to share with you my first book, THE SAD PRINCESS – The search for a happily-ever-after smile.
Self-published. Most probably imperfect. A product of so much support along the way. Yes, I asked for help.
And I continue to ask.
It is a sad moment for my family and I. It is not the moment that I would have chosen to release this book. Honestly friends, I am distracted and exhausted. I am being pulled in so many directions.
Maybe this is how it was meant to be.
In my life and in the book, there is loss. And in both my reality and my fairytale, there are choices to be made.
I read these words the other day: There can be no wrong way.
The distractions. The exhaustion. My mom needing extra support right now. And me here, believing so deeply in this book and all the other books I dream of creating some day.
More than ever. I need this. Me dreaming. Holding on. And I also need you.
I Need You Now
If my words resonate with you, if they have ever served you in the slightest way, if you believe in the power of my fullness meeting and holding up yours and vice versa – PLEASE PURCHASE THE BOOK (leave a review), gift it, and talk about it.
HELP ME SELL THIS BOOK.
They say that the beginning is the most important part. And so it is with the self-publishing of a book.
I don’t know where this will lead, but I want to know that I was courageous enough to ask. Again and again and again.
So I am asking you with so much humility and gratitude to help me continue dreaming.
Dream Your Dream
And then PLEASE don’t forget to dream your dream.
Pull it out from the darkness, dust it off, sprinkle your gold over it. Let it rock, roll, and tumble out. Keep it close to your heart and just watch what happens.
May the energy of your dreams be your personal offering and inspiration for all those who witness the magic of you – just one empowered person dreaming a little dream and never giving up.
Maybe smiling a beautiful smile along the way.
